Bubba Likes Cats
by dexgal
Summary: Bubba is only trying to get some cats. Shouldn't be this much trouble just to get some blood....


**A/N**: This is just a one-shot that came to me (when I was supposed to be working on updating the _Star Trek_ stories and the one I've started about Eric/Sookie!). Bubba is one of my favorite characters. Please be kind, and R/R!

Original characters belong to me.

**Disclaimer**: I own none of the characters nor storylines depicted in the inimitable Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries. I am a fan, writing for other fans, with no intent to infringe upon any copyright or trademark.

________________________________________________________________________

Bubba Likes Cats

Bubba's ears pricked up. _Dang_, he thought, _sounds like cats to me,_ and he licked his thick lips in anticipation of a ready meal.. He ambled toward the sound of the mewling, and stopped at the edge of a clearing. Well, there was the mewling again. The sound was coming not only from the cardboard box thrown in the back of a rusty red pick-up, but also from the woman sitting on the porch steps of a rundown house.

As he kept watching the house (and the box of felines), a man came out the screen door and stomped across the porch, stopping to clout the woman in the head before heading down the steps. Bubba stiffened. That kind of behavior just wasn't right. He wasn't sure he could remember what kind of behavior toward women _was_ right, but he was pretty sure that Mr. Eric and Mr. Bill wouldn't like what the man had done.

As the pick-up squealed away on its bald tires, Bubba approached the house cautiously. He didn't smell anybody else around, though.

"Evenin', ma'am," he said to the woman, so as to warn her of his silent advent.

The woman looked up, startled at his appearance. She stood up slowly, holding one hand to her back as the other grasped the rickety porch railing. Bubba saw that she was heavy with child.

"Good evenin', sir," she replied. "I didn't hear you come up. How do you come to be in these parts?"

Well, at that, Bubba stopped. He never really was quite sure how he got from one place to the other. He remembered being at certain places, like when Mr. Eric told him to watch Miss Sookie and he went to Mississippi (those good 'ole boys in Jackson sure did know how to throw a party!), and he just remembered visiting New Orleans after all the trouble, and then he started walking a lot, just trying to get away from all the people and noise and confusion.

"Well, ma'am," he said with a little smile, "I don't rightly know exactly where I am, except that y'all sure do have a lot of caves around here." He had spent the night under the ground in a cave before rising tonight.

"You're in the Ozarks, a place full of more caves and pits and scary things than you can ever imagine," came the weary reply. "Well, come on up to the porch, so I can get a look at you."

Well, Bubba reckoned that he could imagine some pretty scary things, but he didn't say anything. He started walking up the steps, and stopped when he was on the step below where she stood. He had learned that for some reason seeing him made a lot of people both excited and nervous. He sure hope that the woman didn't scream, or faint, or anything. Bubba just wanted to know where he could find some more cats like the ones in the box. He had been up for awhile now, and he was.....hungry.

As the man reached the step where the outer ring of the porch light hit his features, the woman gasped. _Good Lord Almighty_, she thought_, I have finally gone crazy. Duane has hit me in the head one too many times, and now I'm seein' dead Elvis Aron Presley on my front porch steps. _She promptly fainted and only Bubba's large hands prevented her from falling to the ground below.

****************

"Ma'am, are you alright, ma'am?"

She came to and found herself lying on the bed in the front room. She reached up and felt a wet cloth across her forehead and blinked to focus her eyes. Nope, she hadn't imagined it; he was really here, kneeling down by the bed with a concerned look on his face. Boy, he sure did look rough. His eyes were all bloodshot, and his clothes were covered with dirt. He also smelled none too clean.

"Ouch!" All of a sudden, the baby kicked her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. At least everything seemed all right in that quarter.

"Ma'am, I know you feel bad right now, but I'm kinda hungry." Bubba gave her a little smile, revealing his fangs.

She sat up, with HIS arm supporting her back, and said in a shaking voice, stealing glances at his.....teeth, "I'm forgetting my manners. My name is Eulafae Simmons. All I have is some pot likker and some cornbread keepin' warm in the stove. Duane, that's my husband, ate all the venison and the greens before he...before he left."

Bubba looked at her and smiled. "Eulafae is a right pretty name; my name is Bubba. I sure do appreciate you offerin' me some supper, and I'm sorry that your husband didn't leave you more food to eat. That ain't right. But, ma'am," and he paused a bit before saying, "I don't really exactly _eat_ anymore, and, anyway, I like cats."

Eulafae shook her head a few times while Bubba looked at her. Finally she said, "I'm okay now," and he moved away as she sat completely up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

Bubba said, "Eulafae, you don't look too good."

Eulafae laughed bitterly. "Well, Bubba, I guess I don't look too good. I hope you don't mind me sayin' it, but you look like you need someone to take care of you a little bit, too."

Bubba flashed her an easy, toothy grin, and said, "Yes ma'am, I surely do."

They just stared at each other for a minute, both smiling, and then Eulafae swallowed hard and said, "Bubba, when you say you like cats, do you mean that you like to....eat cats?"

Bubba nodded his head eagerly and said, "I think their blood tastes real sweet."

Eulafae looked stricken, but quickly masked her expression, and queried, "Bubba, are you a....a vampire or somethin'?"

Bubba puffed his chest out a little and said proudly, "Yes, ma'am, I am, and Miss Sookie says that I am a very good vampire."

Eulafae just nodded, wondering who this 'Miss Sookie' might be, but said, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any cats here. My cat just had a litter, but she died givin' birth, and Duane said he was takin' all the kittens down to the old quarry and drownin' them. I sure did want to keep at least one, just for the company and to have to for the baby. My Aunt Minnie down in Pontotoc, Mississippi, always had cats around. Do you...do you want some of my blood?" Eulafae remember reading in the Star magazine in line at the grocery store that it was good manners to offer your blood if you happened to be hurt and a vampire was around.

Bubba was taken aback. "Uh, well Eulafae, I am a vampire, but I'm not too good at the takin' blood part. And I ain't too good at the glamour part, neither, which is how vampires get humans to like havin' their blood taken. And, sometimes when I get blood, I get a little....excited, and you _are_ married and about to have a baby and all. Just tell me where this quarry is, and maybe Duane will let me have some of the cats."

Eulafae told him how to get to the quarry. She was pretty sure she knew what was going to happen, because she knew that Duane wasn't likely to give anybody anything, vampire or not.

"Okay, if it's still dark after I have the cats, I'll come back and see you, unless you'll be asleep?"

"Oh, Bubba, I don't think I"ll be gettin' much sleep tonight, " she smiled somewhat grimly and stood up.

"Well, bye now. It sure was nice meetin' you." Bubba gave her a hug. He enjoyed holding her; she smelled just like a kitten, all milky and sweet.

****************

When Bubba got to the quarry, now full of still, dark water, he saw the pick-up truck and Eulafae's husband. He had been following the sounds of the cats for awhile now. There was a fire started, and Duane was sitting by it, singing something about a hound dog and taking swigs of clear liquid from a jar. Bubba sniffed, and figured Duane was enjoying the product of a near-by still. The kittens were still in a box, crying and huddled together.

"Howdy," said Bubba, careful to keep some distance between him and the fire. "Your wife said I could find you here. Can I have some of your cats?"

Duane jumped up. "Who the fuck are you? My wife? That stupid heifer. You just wait 'til I get home and teach her to tell my business to strangers. I'll make that bitch sorry she was ever born."

Bubba sighed. It seemed like Duane didn't want to give him the cats without some kind of trouble.

So Bubba just stared at Duane real hard, and walked toward him. Duane started laughing, and running, screaming "You dumb ox, you can't catch me! Can't have my wife or my damn cats! You with your stupid-ass Elvis Presley-lookin' face--."

At that, Bubba's face hardened even more. He_ really_ didn't like it when people said that name. He quickly made his way to Duane's side, and grabbed the dumbfounded man by the throat.

"I asked you real nice if I could have some cats, and you said bad things about me and your wife. She's a nice lady. That ain't right. I'm real sorry, but I'm hungry, and I want some cats NOW." With a roar, Bubba snapped Duane's neck and dropped his body down into the quarry. Then he went over to the box and picked up one of the kittens, crooning to it, "Hey there, little feller," before he bit it.

****************

After he finished feeding, Bubba sat for a minute. He always felt better after having some cats, and had clearer thoughts. He decided that he needed to make sure that Eulafae didn't get into any trouble just because he and Duane had had a disagreement.

So Bubba turned the key in the ignition of the truck, turned the knob of the radio until he found a nice soft rock station, and flipped the switch for the headlights. Leaving the driver's side door open, he took some more jars of 'shine out of the bed of the truck, and threw them down on the ground, being careful not to splatter any too near the fire.

He stood back aways and surveyed the scene. He was pretty sure that it looked like Duane got drunk and fell into the quarry. Poor Eulafae; now she would be all alone.

As Bubba turned to go back the way he'd come, ready to brush away his tracks, he heard a small sound. It was the tiniest kitten, black and white, with just a stub for a tail. It sure looked good, but instead of biting into it, Bubba put it into the cardboard box Duane had used earlier, holding it in one hand as he finished clearing the scene of any traces of vampire.

****************

Eulafae didn't think she'd be able to sleep, but she must've dropped off around 2 a.m. She woke up when she heard a loud "meow." She sat up in the bed, sun streaming through the window, surprised not to be any more sore that she was. She put a hand to her temple, felt like the cut was already healing.

Eulafae went to the bathroom (baby was really pressing up against her bladder), and looked in the mirror over the sink as she washed her hands. Well, for goodness sake, it _did _look like the cuts on her face and the bruise at her temple were already healing and fading. And her head didn't hurt anymore.

She went back into the front room, and found the source of the sound that had woken her a few minutes before. There was a cardboard box sitting on the table, and inside was the cutest little black-and-white kitten. Around it's neck was a length of the yarn she'd been using to make a blanket for the baby, threaded through a piece of paper.

Eulafae picked up the kitten and nuzzled it. "Why, you must be hungry. Let's go find you some food." There really wasn't much food in the house, but maybe she could soak some of the leftover cornbread in water, or something.

When she got to the kitchen, however, there was no pot on the stove, and there was no bread in the oven. She didn't remember cleaning up after Bubba left--_Oh my God, that really happened_--but opened the fridge just to check.

Not only was the bread wrapped in Glad wrap and sitting on the second shelf, but there was milk, there were eggs and cheese, and a whole crisper full of fruits and vegetables. Eulafae just stood there staring, until the cat mewed loudly, and she hurried to fill a saucer with milk. She remembered the note around the animal's neck, and quickly untied the yarn and set the kitten down by the milk.

She read the note:

_Duane won't hurt you no more. I hope you don't mind, but I rubbed some of my blood on your hurt places. I saw Mr. Eric do that for Miss Sookie before. It was nice to meet you. You said you liked cats. I like cats, too. Now you won't be alone_. It was signed "Bubba"

Eulafae heard a car drive up outside, and quickly stuffed Bubba's note into her shirt. She picked up the cat before stepping out on to the porch.

It was Sheriff Hollis who had driven up, and he held his hat in his hands as he walked up the steps. When he reached her, he said somberly, "Eulafae, I'm afraid that I've got some bad news for you."

He held out his arms, and Eulafae stepped into them, burying her face in the kitten's fur so that he couldn't see her smile. _Thank you, thank you very much_, she thought.

****************

After he finished up at Eulafae's house, Bubba knew that he had to find a resting place before the sun came up, so he went back to where he had stayed yesterday. Bubba sniffed the air in the cave appreciatively. He looked forward to waking up the next night. A big cat lived around here.

________________________________________________________________________

A/N: "Pot likker" is the liquid that's left after cooking something, like turnips or collards. Can be sopped up with cornbread (or I guess leftover biscuits would do....)


End file.
